"If there's an effective antidote to marriage, it's the thought that you can't afford a divorce." — Jack Nicholson
In Germany, the institution of family and marriage plays an extremely important role. The Basic Law carefully protects the interests of the family as the basic unit of society, which is why the state's economic and social policy is, to a considerable extent, aimed at supporting the institution of the family and protecting and preserving marriages that have already been entered into. Unfortunately, even with such a social policy in place, divorces still happen fairly often, even in this prosperous country. Since German law does not require spouses to give specific grounds when filing for divorce, residents of Germany usually make do with general phrases — which is why no official statistics on the causes of divorce are kept.
As many of our readers already know, a divorce in Germany is not possible without a lawyer's involvement. Even where the spouses have no mutual claims against each other, have no minor children, and both consent to the divorce, German law requires that at least one of the parties be represented by a lawyer. A lawyer can advise the party who approaches them, provide legal support at every stage of what is often a time-consuming and lengthy procedure, and help prepare the necessary applications and documents. Usually, it is the spouse initiating the divorce who consults a lawyer. If the spouses have managed to agree on all the terms of the divorce themselves, one lawyer will be enough for both. Anyone who has concluded that the marriage cannot be saved, and that the only right course is to end the relationship both in fact and in law, will almost certainly wonder: "When does it make sense to see a lawyer?"
It makes sense to consult a lawyer as soon as the marital relationship has ended, in order to confirm the date the separation began. A lawyer's letter confirming the start of the separation period is particularly important for anyone receiving state benefits — it allows the relevant authority to calculate benefits separately for each spouse, and makes it possible to obtain approval to rent separate apartments and any other documents needed in such a situation. For people with limited income, a family-law specialist can also help secure state financial assistance to cover the lawyer's fees and court costs.
Our firm's practice sees a wide range of divorce cases — clients come to us who have managed to agree on everything themselves, as well as clients who have been unable to reach any agreement at all. In a number of "difficult" cases, one divorcing spouse's life or health is endangered by the other spouse's conduct, and the lawyer must act extremely quickly and decisively to prevent harm. Every family, like every divorce, is highly individual and calls for a professional approach tailored to the specific case. Most divorces our firm's lawyers handle, however, proceed fairly calmly, quickly, and without further complications.
One day, a fairly elderly man came to us for a consultation — let's call him Viktor — who wanted to formally divorce his wife, whom we'll call Valentina. The couple had been married for just over twenty years. They had met while still students, in a small town in the Russian provinces, and quickly moved from the early courtship stage into a close relationship. Without really getting to know each other or testing their feelings, they married in haste, while still very young, after just a few months of moonlit walks together. The reason for such a hasty decision was painfully mundane — the young woman found herself "in a delicate condition." The young couple — or rather, their parents — decided that "the baby had to be kept," the wedding was thrown together in a hurry, and fortunately the newly minted husband already had a small place of his own. Naturally, everyday problems began almost as soon as they started living together — Viktor and Valentina barely knew each other, were not ready to make the many concessions and compromises that married life demands, and had no experience running a household of their own. But since the young family was expecting a child, there was of course no talk of separating at that point. After finishing his studies, Viktor took a job as a car mechanic, while Valentina, having scraped her way through university, stayed at home looking after the household and the child. A first daughter was soon followed by two sons, and the family got by, more or less, with constant financial and practical support from both sets of parents. After ten years of marriage, once the family of Viktor's older brother had permanently relocated to Germany, the couple firmly decided to follow his example, especially since our future client had sufficient grounds to qualify. No sooner said than done — a year and a half later, the whole family moved to Berlin under the "late resettler" (Spätaussiedler) program.
Viktor and Valentina settled with their three children on the outskirts of the city; the husband found work at an auto repair shop, while his wife continued looking after the children and the household and took a part-time job as a receptionist at a beauty salon. Alongside their modest salaries, the couple also received financial support from the state. The years passed relentlessly, the children grew up almost without anyone noticing, and the elder daughter and son had already left the family home to live on their own. The couple suddenly found themselves with far more free time, and began wondering more and more often whether there had ever really been love between them, or whether their long marriage had simply been, first, the result of a "mistake," and later, of habit. When their youngest son turned 18 and began talking about wanting to move out soon, the couple gradually came to the conclusion that nothing was holding them together any longer, and that their marital relationship had, in fact, already been over for several years.
Viktor left the shared apartment, finding another place to live nearby, and roughly two years after the separation began, he showed up at our law firm asking for help formalizing the divorce. The lawyer, having received a power of attorney from the client, accompanied the proceedings from start to full completion.
First, the lawyer represented Viktor's interests in negotiations, initially with his wife and later with her lawyer, to settle all the formalities and reach agreement on how to divide the property acquired during the marriage. Based on the oral understandings reached, the lawyer drew up a document recording the spouses' agreement on dividing the property acquired during the marriage.
Second, the lawyer prepared an agreement waiving the equalization of pension entitlements. In principle, the procedure for dividing pension entitlements at divorce exists to equalize the former spouses' future pension payments. Since the pension-insurance contributions each spouse made during the marriage can, for various reasons, differ, they are equalized upon divorce. In this case, the spouses had already agreed independently to waive this equalization of pension entitlements (German: Versorgungsausgleich), and the lawyer prepared a document recording the agreement reached and helped ensure it was properly submitted during the court hearing.
Third, the lawyer submitted to the court evidence that the spouses had lived apart for the statutory period. For a divorce under German law to actually take effect, the so-called "year of separation," or Trennungsjahr, is required. This is a mandatory requirement, without which the court will not grant the divorce: under §1567 of the German Civil Code (German: Bürgerliches Gesetzbuch, BGB), a marriage may only be dissolved once the spouses have lived apart for a year. Exceptions apply where continuing the marriage would impose unreasonable hardship on one of the spouses — for instance, in cases of addiction or abuse by the other spouse. Following the logic of the German legislature, a year of living apart is treated as conclusive proof that the marriage has failed, that the marital relationship no longer exists, and that there is no longer any point in waiting for reconciliation. Only in such a case does §1565 BGB permit the marriage to be dissolved. To secure the divorce, the lawyer accordingly submitted to the court evidence that, for the past two years, the spouses had lived in separate apartments, had not moved back in together, had not run a shared household, had not spent time together, and had not attended any events together.
Important at Divorce
This is a mandatory requirement, without which the court will not grant the divorce: under §1567 BGB, a marriage may only be dissolved once the spouses have lived apart for a year.
Finally, the lawyer represented the client at the court hearing, which in this case proceeded quickly and without any difficulties, since all the necessary agreements had already been reached and put in writing before the hearing.
In short, the lawyer helped ensure that an already psychologically difficult situation was not made even more complicated by legal wrangling. From a legal standpoint, the divorce was concluded fairly quickly, without problems or surprises. Viktor was very satisfied with the lawyer's work and thanked him for carrying out his instructions clearly and competently. We continue to wish all our clients nothing but mutual understanding, respect for one another, and harmony in their family lives. But if past happiness can no longer be recovered, and divorce is next on your agenda, we invite you to our law firm, where we will provide detailed advice and legal support at every stage of this demanding and complex process.
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